The past is already past.
Don’t try to regain it.
The present does not stay.
Don’t try to touch it.
From moment to moment.
The future has not come;
Don’t think about it
Beforehand. Whatever comes to the eye,
Leave it be.
– Layman P’ang
Here's what helped me heal from trauma
Healing from traumatic events comes in many forms. First you acknowledge that you need to heal, then you begin the process. The good news is that it's not all sorrow and pain and grief. While that is a huge part, what comes after is the joy of beginning again, experiencing life with new meaning, learning who you really are, what you love and what lights you up. This is what this video is all about.
2019 and 2020 were two of the hardest yet most transformative of my life. It helped me create the life I have today, a life I truly I love. 💛💜
#traumarecovery #mysereneearth #freedom #traumahealing #traumainformed #peacebeginswithme #justbreatheletitgo
How nature became my greatest teacher
I escaped the madness of civilization to learn from nature, our greatest teacher
“Whenever the light of civilization falls upon you with a blighting power…go to the wilderness. The dull business routine, the fierce passions of the market place, the perils of envious cities become but a memory. The wilderness will take hold of you. It will give you good red blood. You will soon behold all with a peaceful soul.”
—George S. Evans, 1904
I posted this poem on my Facebook in 2015 and it came up as a memory today. Little did I know that six years later I would literally follow those words when I packed up my car and drove around the country for six months, staying as far away from civilization and as close to the wilderness as possible. George was right. That trip brought me peace, forever changed my view and understanding of the world and made me realize that as much as we may think we’re all different, as much divisiveness in the world, we are all connected. We are leaves from branches of the same tree, and at the end of the day, we all want the same thing. To be loved and seen.
I ran to the wilderness to escape civilization and find who I truly am. There I found not only myself, but the importance of nature as a great teacher.
Nature taught me the importance of connection. Connection taught me the importance of community, and community taught me the importance of civilization.
So back to civilization I went.
If you haven’t seen my Adventure Travel series on YouTube (40 episodes!!), click on the link in my bio and watch it! The Adventure series is now done but there are many more travel videos ahead!
Why horses are the best therapists
Reminiscing on my time at Healing with Horses Equine Mental Health Ranch, and the incredible lessons Caesar, the oldest horse on the ranch taught me before his death
During my 17 month stint back in Austin, I worked at horse ranch for equine mental health. First experiencing the work as a client then again as a volunteer and then as an equine mental health specialist, I was immediately hooked to the incredible healing power these amazing animals have.
Horses are some of the most empathic creatures on the planet. Not only can then sense you coming a mile away, but they can also feel your heart, can sense your breathing, and can tell the type of state you are in. Because of this, horses will often mirror their behavior on the outside, as what’s going on with you on the inside.
We may have seen horses bit, nip, buck, or run away from people, perhaps in movies, documentaries, or real life scenarios. What is really happening has nothing to do with the horse, but everything to do with you. Horses force you to slow down, take a breath, examine and understand the feelings that are coming up inside you, which then allows you to reassess your own behaviors and thoughts (which usually not at all what you think they were at first)
Such was the case with Ceasar, a 28 year old 2000 pound Belgian draft horse who had been doing therapy work for 20 years. He was one of the first horses I met back in summer of 2022 and one of the ones that made me realize how special and valuable this equine therapy is for people.
From the first moments of meeting Caesar, I knew he was special. Not only was he huge, but he was gentle, had a big personality, and knew he was king of the ranch. He would often come say hi to me and rub his nose into my chest, much like he’s doing in the above photo.
There was one instance with Caesar that changed everything. We were doing a breathing exercise in the arena together with several other students and volunteers. This was perhaps the 4th or 5th time I’d met Caesar. He began following me around the arena, and I began walking further away so as to give him space.
What ended up happening was that the more I retreated, the more he advanced, until I was up against a fence with him in front of me.
The most incredible Equine Assistant Amanda, came up to me and asked if I felt safe. Even though I was laughing it off, I had to admit to myself that no, I didn’t truly feel safe with a 2,000 pound horse pinning me against a fence.
Amanda asked why I thought I was in that position.
I told her that I kept leaving to give him space. But he kept coming.
She asked me where else in life I’d often do that. Abandon myself, leave, to allow space for others, rather than standing my ground.
Immediately a lightbulb went off. I’m a true flight person in trauma. I will leave when the going gets tough. or I will abandon myself to give others “space”. Immediately I knew that I was playing small, allowing others to walk all over me instead of stand my ground.
Amanda then gave me an exercise to stand my ground, make myself big, and be able to get this massive horse to back up for me. Just by me changing my stance, changing my energy and using simple arm movements. I got Caesar to back up, giving me space.
The next time walked back up to me, I didn’t budget. I stood my ground and when he got too close in my space, I moved my arms and stepped into his so he would back up.
That was the last time Caesar was ever in my space.
The next time I saw him, he greeted me like an old friend, the mutual respect felt by us both. Then he followed me around the ranch as I led him to his pen, his stall, then back again.
This horse was my greatest teach in 2022. Caesar taught me so much about myself, about standing my ground, about boundaries, confidence, mindfulness, trust, ease, letting go, and joy, in the short time I knew him.
At the end of December, 2022, Caesar had to be put down due to deteriorating health issues with old age.
As such, Caesar also taught me the importance of grief and letting go, and he still continues to teach me incredible lessons on life, survival, kindness, and compassion, far beyond his death.
I know there will never be another gentle giant like him.
I’ll always be grateful for the time we spent together and the many healing moments Caesar gave me while he was alive. What an incredible life he led and what an amazing healer for so many people. Horses truly are the best therapists.
If you want to know more about equine therapy for mental health, please send me a message. It’s one of the simplest yet most healing modalities I’ve ever experienced in my life compared to many techniques I’ve experimented with on my path to healing. And this is saying a lot because I have literally done it all. You name it, 100% I have tried it.
Cheers to you, Ceasar and congrats on a life well lived.
The value of a beginner's mind
How to approach everything with a beginner’s mindset
The Beginner’s Mind:
“The richness of the present-moment experience is the richness of life itself. Too often, we let our thinking and our beliefs about what we “know” prevent us from seeing things as they really are.
We tend to take the ordinary for granted and fail to grasp the extraordinariness of the ordinary.
To see the richness of the present moment we need to cultivate what has been called “beginner’s mind”, a mind that is willing to see everything as if for the first time.
An open “beginner’s mind” allows us to be receptive to new possibilities and prevents us from getting stuck in the rut of our own expertise, which often thinks it knows more then it does.
No moment is the same as any other. Each is unique and contains possibilities. “Beginner’s mind” reminds us of this simple truth.”
—Full Catastrophe Living, using the wisdom of your body and mind to face stress, pain, and illness. —Jon Kabat-Zinn, Ph.D.
Working with horses the more and more I realize how little we truly know about ourselves and the world. The best approach I’ve learned that works both with horses and in life, is to enter everything with a beginner’s mind.
Leave your past experiences and beliefs at the door, and approach things with childlike curiosity. This allows me to truly grasp the extraordinariness of the ordinary, which then leads to new possibilities, mindsets and experiences.
No moment is the same as the other, We’re unique beings living on the same earth but going through completely different experiences and interpretations. Leave your expertise at the door and try approaching live with a beginner’s mind.
#extraordinaryordinary #extraordinaryordinaryjoy #beginnersmind #mysereneearth #extraordinaryordinarylife
What I wish I could tell my younger self
Looking back on why I spent so much time worrying about completely useless things
There are so many things I wish I could tell my younger self. The wounded child. Shy, introverted, scared, emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually abused. The child bullied for her looks, a tall skinny white girl in the land of curvaceous Latinas in Central and South America. Who grew up thinking she was ugly, told she looked like a boy, so acted like a boy. Whose friends scrawled on the back of her shirt "Roses are red, violets are black, why is your chest as flat as your back?"
I wish I could tell my younger self it'll all be ok. Like, seriously. It’ll be ok. You’re learn that you’re worthy of love and respect. Also, you were never ugly, you just needed to believe you were beautiful, and fuck whatever others say, for real. Confidence will be your greatest accessory and no one will make you feel inferior without your consent. You will love every part of yourself, and from that love, you will learn to love others.
But seriously little Serena, you were never ugly! Just because people made you feel that way does not make it true. Don’t take everything and everyone so seriously. Also you’ll be naked a lot in your older life so chill out with the body issues. It’s all. In. Your. Head.
Who else wishes they could go back and tell themselves a simple message like this? I tell my inner child this all the time. When those seeds of doubt and comparison creep in, return to yourself, you source. It does not have to be hard. You don't need tapping and journaling and pure diets and meditation. Acknowledge the thoughts with compassion, then remind yourself feelings don't make it true. Just because someone said something or made you feel a certain way does not make it so. Fuck them all.
Then go take all the naked photos of yourself that you want.