Healing from traumatic events comes in many forms. First you acknowledge that you need to heal, then you begin the process. The good news is that it's not all sorrow and pain and grief. While that is a huge part, what comes after is the joy of beginning again, experiencing life with new meaning, learning who you really are, what you love and what lights you up. This is what this video is all about.
2019 and 2020 were two of the hardest yet most transformative of my life. It helped me create the life I have today, a life I truly I love. 💛💜
#traumarecovery #mysereneearth #freedom #traumahealing #traumainformed #peacebeginswithme #justbreatheletitgo
How nature became my greatest teacher
I escaped the madness of civilization to learn from nature, our greatest teacher
“Whenever the light of civilization falls upon you with a blighting power…go to the wilderness. The dull business routine, the fierce passions of the market place, the perils of envious cities become but a memory. The wilderness will take hold of you. It will give you good red blood. You will soon behold all with a peaceful soul.”
—George S. Evans, 1904
I posted this poem on my Facebook in 2015 and it came up as a memory today. Little did I know that six years later I would literally follow those words when I packed up my car and drove around the country for six months, staying as far away from civilization and as close to the wilderness as possible. George was right. That trip brought me peace, forever changed my view and understanding of the world and made me realize that as much as we may think we’re all different, as much divisiveness in the world, we are all connected. We are leaves from branches of the same tree, and at the end of the day, we all want the same thing. To be loved and seen.
I ran to the wilderness to escape civilization and find who I truly am. There I found not only myself, but the importance of nature as a great teacher.
Nature taught me the importance of connection. Connection taught me the importance of community, and community taught me the importance of civilization.
So back to civilization I went.
If you haven’t seen my Adventure Travel series on YouTube (40 episodes!!), click on the link in my bio and watch it! The Adventure series is now done but there are many more travel videos ahead!
That time I forgot my passport...
My disaster of a trip to Berlin…and what I discovered
I was halfway to the airport on my way to Berlin when I realized I left my passport at home.
HOW is this possible, I thought, in total shock.
This is an amateur move that’s never happened to me before. As a seasoned traveler who’s been on hundreds of flights to over 40 countries, it should never happen. What is going on?
While past me would have been sooo stressed, freaking out, upset about losing my non refundable Airbnb and flight, today I felt surprisingly calm about the whole thing.
That’s because travel taught me an invaluable lesson. Go with the flow. Everything is happening as it’s meant and there is always another way.
As someone who struggles with anxiety, getting in my head, imaginary arguments with myself or others, and always planning for the worst, losing a flight would be worse case scenario for me.
But instead, I went with it. I released my travel plans to the universe, accepting that if my flight left before I made it to the gate, then how great I can go home and get more work done for my business. How great I’ll save money on hotels and eating out.
I also didn’t give up and tell the driver to go home. I was going to try. My flight leaves in 15 minutes and I’m not even at the airport yet. But I’m 5 minutes away. You never know.
Security had a long line. I knew I needed to ask for help and I STRUGGLE asking for help cause, anxiety. But there was no way I’d make the fight if I stood in line silent.
So I asked the guard to skip the line, showed him my ticket and he led me to the front. He didn’t even speak, just motioned for me to follow him and that was that.
I smiled calmly at the two frazzled moms in front of me folding up their strollers, digging for their liquids as their children screamed. Every minute I waited behind them was a minute lost making my flight.
And I still didn’t know what gate it was.
I got through security, ran through duty free to the departure monitors. I’m not familiar with the Porto airport yet but I know there are over 40 gates so it could be by gate 1 or gate 40.
It was gate 35 and I was at gate 33.
I ran through the airport, sweating away in the warm Porto air with my Berlin winter clothes on. Gate 35 was much further than I thought, I had to pass a whole new section of duty free.
I got to the gate 5 minutes before departure and to my surprise, the flight was still boarding. So I stood in line to board, the 2nd to last person on the plane.
I made it to the plane, expecting major drama with my carry on luggage. If you’re last typically you have to put it in cargo or in a completely different area than your seat.
Whatever, I’m here, it’ll work out.
And there it was, one tiny space in the overhead bin right by my seat. If you’ve flown with carry on you know, this never happens. Overhead bins are always packed on full flights and stragglers have to release their luggage to the cargo gods. Yet here’s a space waiting for me.
I put my bag up and sat down, a sweaty mess. How did I make this flight? I was 15 minutes from the airport when I realized I forgot my passport. Traffic was terrible getting back home and back out of town.
I could not believe it, yet also, I could.
It wasn’t luck, it was surrender. Surrender to go with the flow, that missed flights and non refundable Airbnbs are part of travel, and my plans may not be the Universe’s plans.
Oh well.
Mindset is key to travel. You have to keep a positive mindset, be open to abrupt change and remain calm, polite, and respectful to others. I could’ve freaked out with the security guard. I could’ve rolled my eyes at the moms.
But I just smiled, knowing I came this far and I would keep going. And keep going I did. All the way to Berlin.
Travel teaches you so much, but especially how insignificant your plans are in the grand scheme of things. When you stay open to the universe and its signs, you never know the hidden options you will see.
Does this experience sound familiar? A total disaster of trip. Unnecessarily stressful.
Have you struggled with lost plans, trip delays, annoying people and airport drama? Does stepping into an airport fill you with dread cause you’re anticipating all the stressful lines and what could go wrong?
If so, my free webinar is for you. Learn to travel the world with a 9-5 without stress and chaos, because you have a solid plan in place that will help you reach your destination. And if you don’t, you will also have the skills and mindset to deal with the aftermath if your plans go to awry.
The Universe will always support you, even if it doesn’t seem like it at the time.
Sign up now at stan.store/serkelley and get on the list. We meet Wednesday, November 1st at 10 AM!
Finding my home with travel
My story on loneliness, travel, and finding my true home
In 2021 I packed up my car and drove across the country for 6 months.
It was an adventure, yes. But it was also something more. I was searching, looking for somewhere I belonged. I was looking for my home.
I knew I wanted to connect to my intuition, be so deeply connected to myself that I trusted myself and my decisions fully. For that to happen, I had to separate myself from everything. I removed all the outside noise and opinions from experts, friends, Co-workers, etc. I let go of any spiritual teacher and coach that I hired and declined outside advice from everyone.
I had to do this trip for me, without hearing anyone else’s opinion about it.
Throughout my trip I was forced to be alone with my thoughts that ran rampant on my 8-12 hour drives across the country. I had already done so much healing from my childhood. So much trauma recovery, spiritual work, grief, and shame. I found myself in a loop of constantly needing more healing, and more healing, rather than progressing forward and getting to the next step in my life.
I knew that I already had the answers within me. I just needed to find where they were hidden. Without all the outside lectures and opinions from everyone else.
During this time I was also going through an extremely difficult dissolution of a relationship. I was depressed, crying every day. As I packed my car and drove out of Texas, I allowed myself to cry for hours in the car. I let myself feel all the pain, anger, frustration, vulnerability, and grief I carried from this experience.
There was so much I was holding onto I needed to let go of.
The more I let go of these emotions, the more I realized how much I still held onto. Not just from my recent relationship, but my childhood. So many things I STILL hadn’t allowed myself to feel sad over.
Because I let out all the emotions and felt them fully, I moved through the painful feelings and got to the other side. What I found there was immense joy, delight, pleasure, excitement, happiness, peace… for the first time I felt truly alive. I had collected all the lost pieces of myself, gathered them together, and built myself back up. A human being who can experience all life has to offer. Joy and sorrow, pleasure and pain…and so much more.
This release of emotions allowed me to fully trust myself to make the right decisions every step of the way. Alone out in nature, with no one but my car and my dog, I felt completely connected to me. And in turn, I connected with my intuition and my guides.
My process started off by asking for signs from the universe. “Should I drive a certain way? Should I stop here? Should I detour there?” The Universe would show me.
My sign from the universe to show me the way was a hawk, wherever I was. I’d often see them flying above and very closely over my head. I took it as a sign early on in Texas that these birds were here to guide me. When I needed a clear sign of what to do, a hawk would show me the way. If the answer was yes, a hawk appeared. If no, then no hawk would come.
And so, they did. Everywhere, even where hawks normally didn’t live. A hawk flew next to me as I drove, or landed near me. It was up in a tree, on a telephone pole, everywhere. These signs allowed me to trust the Universe was protecting and guiding me. People I encountered mentioned “Oh, is that a hawk there? Funny, they’re usually not in this area.” Well, that’s because it was my hawk. And it was there to give me a sign.
Eventually, I became so connected to my intuition that I didn’t need to ask for a sign. I just needed to check in for an answer. “Should pull into a campground instead of pushing through a drive at 2 AM?” Yes. Immediately yes. And a campground appeared. “Should I veer off the road to go to some random sight instead of continuing my planned drive.?” Yes. Go. So I did.
Each time I followed my intuition, I was blessed with incredible sights and experiences I never would have imagined or been privy to had I pushed through with my own plans. I was also protected from scenarios that could have put me in danger. Like camping in a remote area alone, surrounded by drunken men (read my blog post about it here)
Taking it slow and checking in was always the better option. Once I stopped in the middle of the night at a campground to sleep, then woke up to find I was surrounded by a beautiful forest of pine trees and a crystal clear lake I had no idea existed. This was a perfectly hidden campground I would’ve totally missed had I kept driving by.
Another time I left what was arguably a perfect campsite because I didn’t feel safe, only to find an even better campsite with a private lake I could swim naked in. There were many instances of listening to my intuition to pull over to the side of the road for no reason, and then greeted with a brand new adventure, hidden away from my planned route.
I also connected with many people along my 6 month journey. Those in line getting coffee, people at wineries who welcomed me into their homes, Motel owners who knocked on my door and offered to cook a meal for me, people who brought me food because they were curious why I was alone and made me feel welcome.
I felt more at ease and more connected to myself, my intuition, and my spirituality on the road than I ever had with any coach or spiritual teacher.
When I came back from my trip to Austin, I still did not understand the full gravity of what I had learned and experienced on my travels. I was frustrated because none of the places I traveled to in the USA jumped out at me as a place I wanted to live. I didn’t find my “home.” I was looking for that physical place, that “AHA” moment that “Yes, this was where I will stay” feeling.
I started attending meetup groups in Austin and forced myself to be part of a community that I really was not meant to be in and, one I did not truly enjoy. Of course, this led me to more frustration. I was forcing myself to settle in Austin but I couldn’t, because Austin wasn’t it.
Finally, I surrendered my plans. I stopped forcing that perfect community and physical home on me. When I did, I realized I was going about it all the wrong way. I set out to find my home externally, but what I found is that the home was within myself, I just lost it along the way.
My home was not here, at some physical place or group that invited me in. I was already home. Here, with myself. I thought for the whole year of traveling and the year after, that I was alone. Perhaps there was something wrong with me because I didn’t put myself out there enough or I didn’t network. But that was my problem. Just like my healing journey, I thought I had to keep doing MORE. When all I needed to do was ALLOW.
I was never alone in the first place. I was my community, I was the peace I was looking for. Walking in the desert in the middle of the night, completely alone, me and nature, that’s when I felt at peace. Surrounded by The Perfect. The perfection of nature guided me back to myself, back to my human perfection.
After I let go of the idea of how a community should be, that’s why I found my community. It was not in one place or city. My community was all over the world. Fellow travelers like me, the people who cannot stay in one place, who consider the world their home. This was the community I belonged to. It just didn’t look like the other communities I saw.
I already built my own community, I just didn’t know. I made friends in different countries, friends from my travels across the USA, and new friends in Austin, from all over. I built my network all over the place, in every part of the world, from different cultures, beliefs, outlooks, and experiences…exactly how I am.
My community is spread out like me, not in one place. It was already there, just not in the way I thought it would be.
Once I let go and surrendered to being alone, that’s when I realized I wasn’t.
I was already at home. Home was within me, I just needed to connect to myself, to my inner voice, without all the distractions from the outside world.
So how am I doing now? I’m doing great. Because I’m not alone. I’ve got me, and my worldwide community. When I want companionship, I look to my international, worldwide community and network of friends to see who is available to connect. And when I’m done, I always come back home to me.
How to find the beauty in taking risks
The amount of people that still think I'm traveling with a dude, or someone that is secretly taking my photos, or that I'm only in places where I have friends/know others is hilarious.
Sure, there are times I'm unsure of where to stay. I have to be careful as a solo female traveler, but it doesn't deter me from getting out and exploring the world.
Last year when I heard about the murder of Gabi Petito on SM, I was camped in the desert in the above photo. The thought crossed my mind that maybe I should move. Maybe I wasn’t safe. Maybe there was a serial killer in this desert. Ridiculous thoughts I would've never considered had I not known about it the murder beforehand.
Then I remembered that this girl’s situation had nothing to do with mine. her story is not mine, her life is not mine, her circumstances are not mine. So why was I afraid? I chose in that moment to stay in the spot I was, and I would have missed the incredible sights and adventures the next day if I chickened out and left to a "safer" spot.
We've been so programmed as females in society to stay in one place, not explore or go out on our own. That everything is dangerous and out to kill us. That we're not safe without a man.
Sure, there are risks. But we risk our lives everyday driving in our car to go to the store. If I had listened to everyone who told me to stay home the past 2 years, I would still be in the same Austin apartment I lived in for ten years. I would've never gone to Asia, driven across the U.S, stayed in cabins in remote areas & seen friends around the country.
Even now as I prepare for my next trip, people are asking if I know anyone there or if I'm going to see someone. No, I don't know anyone in that country, and most of the time I don’t speak the language of that country either. I just go and learn on the fly. that’s the beauty of traveling. That’s the beauty of freedom and the beauty of taking risks.
Stop letting all the fear mongering on the news affect you. Stop letting other's fears affect you. Turn off the TV. For real. Just stop watching the news. You will see how little it really affects you when you step away from the brainwashing and just live your life. Yes, there will always be others suffering. But how do you expect to help them when you won't even help yourself? Put yourself first. There is no shame in it.
Then get outside and go do something you've always wanted to but have been too scared to. 💚💜💙
Every decade is our prime decade
There is no time when life suddenly starts ending or getting worse. Life is only what you make it.
With incredible sights like these, it's hard not to find an immense amount of gratitude for life, for this beautiful world, my health, my healing, my happiness and how far I've come on this journey we call life.
Life does not end, slow down or lessen because you reach some arbitrary age. We are not “passed our prime” after 40, or 50, or whatever society tells you. Every year is our prime. Every decade is a chapter in a long story called life. So make it count.
This is only the beginning.
